Avoid Getting Caught With Your Hand In The Cookie Jar-Think Like A Woman!
Hi, honey, how was work today?
Great! Got that promotion, finished that project, and had a great time with that hottie, Brandy! She gives unbelievable head! Did I ever tell you that, hon? What a rack on that babe! She raised her rates since last week, but, hey, for head like that what can you do?
That's exactly how your girlfriend or wife acts, right? They just love your adventure stories with escorts don't they?
I don't think so!
Hey, unless you've got a real open relationship with your old lady, you need to know a few things about not getting caught.
Women are naturally devious creatures. When they suspect a problem, they rarely come out and address it. Instead they lurk, spy, and secretly gather enough evidence for a case against you! Actions speak louder than words. If your behavior patterns are out of the ordinary, you can assume that you're already suspected.
Take Precautions!
Be attentive to what your old lady wants. You know, that fictional "good husband"? Be careful not to overdue it, though. Too much nice stuff automatically makes you a guilty man.
Stick to your normal actions. Any change in the normal pattern will clue her in to your hobby. If you spend every Sunday afternoon in front of the television, don't make that your time to hook up with the escort! She'll be on you like fly on shit!
Schedule your appointments with providers during your lunch hour or directly after work when you should be at the gym.
Don't be evasive when making excuses. Come up with a legitimate routine. Use normal stuff: you're trying to go to the gym on a regular basis. You volunteered for a special project at work. Every once in a while include her in events that she wouldn't find interesting and allow her to turn it down. She will think you really want to be with her.
Make sure your friends can provide an alibi, and make sure everyone is on the same page! If you have a designated cell phone for your hobby, make sure your friend has the number in case of an emergency. After your appointment, don't forget to contact him to make sure your significant other didn't call.
When scheduling an appointment with a provider, never use your cell phone or home telephone. If I need to tell you why, then you're already screwed! Come on! Use your brain, McFly!
Your old lady will definitely peruse your personal phone book, your pants pockets, your jacket pockets, anything and everything looking for those odd numbers. Hell, she's probably already doing it, your dumbass just doesn't know it.
Hey you're a guy, you don't think like that. What I'm saying is that you have to! Think like her. Be like her. You've got to know her moves before preventing an attack!
Do not call from your office or from the hotel. Always use a prepaid calling card or cell phone.
If you really like visiting providers, you might want to set up a private personal bank account that your lady doesn't know about. Use it as your monthly entertainment allowance. You could also get a personal credit card and have the bill sent to a private mailbox.
Do not spend a lot of time looking up porno pics on the internet! She will find out. If you are on that computer a lot, even if you are careful and get rid of all the evidence, she will still suspect you! Unless you use the computer for work or some other thing that can be explained, she will think you are looking at nude chicks! There is a program called Specter that records everything you do! If she's got it, you're screwed!
Don't let that happen to you!
Always empty your cache and never use your home or work e-mail. Set up a private e-mail account at www.private-access.com
This is how to empty your cache:
If you use Internet Explorer -a) go to the very top of the interface and you will see File, Edit, View, Favorites and Tools. Select the Tools option. b) Select the Internet Options. c) Go to temporary Internet Files and select Delete Files. d) A window will pop up-select OK. That will delete the evidence.
If you use Internet Explorer -a) go to the very top of the interface and you will see File, Edit, View, Favorites and Tools. Select the Tools option. b) Select the Internet Options. c) Go to temporary Internet Files and select Delete Files. d) A window will pop up-select OK. That will delete the evidence.
If you use Netscape-go to the very top of the interface . a) Select the edit function, then select Preferences. b) Select the + Advanced feature located at the bottom of all options d) Locate the-Advanced option and select Cache. e) You will then be presented with Clear Memory Cache and Clear Disc Cache-select both options which will clear your cache and then press OK.
Do not allow the provider to use baby oil, scented oils or anything that the old lady will smell. Women know what their men smell like!
While scheduling the appointment, ask the provider not to use perfume. If you can smell it, so can your lady!
If the provider has long nails, ask her not to scratch your back during intense moments.
Always discard all lubricants and condoms. Don't hold them in your pockets! Take a few minutes to check your clothing, pockets, and body for anything out of the ordinary
Never engage in unprotected sex. This includes oral sex. If she has a cold sore, throw up the red flag. It's herpes and if you catch it, your old lady will too! She doesn't deserve that.
Always pay with cash when renting a hotel room. Contact hotels that do not require a credit card.
Always, always discard of all of the ads you printed out! Get rid of provider phone numbers as well. In all cases be cautious. Always.
Great! Got that promotion, finished that project, and had a great time with that hottie, Brandy! She gives unbelievable head! Did I ever tell you that, hon? What a rack on that babe! She raised her rates since last week, but, hey, for head like that what can you do?
That's exactly how your girlfriend or wife acts, right? They just love your adventure stories with escorts don't they?
I don't think so!
Hey, unless you've got a real open relationship with your old lady, you need to know a few things about not getting caught.
Women are naturally devious creatures. When they suspect a problem, they rarely come out and address it. Instead they lurk, spy, and secretly gather enough evidence for a case against you! Actions speak louder than words. If your behavior patterns are out of the ordinary, you can assume that you're already suspected.
Take Precautions!
Be attentive to what your old lady wants. You know, that fictional "good husband"? Be careful not to overdue it, though. Too much nice stuff automatically makes you a guilty man.
Stick to your normal actions. Any change in the normal pattern will clue her in to your hobby. If you spend every Sunday afternoon in front of the television, don't make that your time to hook up with the escort! She'll be on you like fly on shit!
Schedule your appointments with providers during your lunch hour or directly after work when you should be at the gym.
Don't be evasive when making excuses. Come up with a legitimate routine. Use normal stuff: you're trying to go to the gym on a regular basis. You volunteered for a special project at work. Every once in a while include her in events that she wouldn't find interesting and allow her to turn it down. She will think you really want to be with her.
Make sure your friends can provide an alibi, and make sure everyone is on the same page! If you have a designated cell phone for your hobby, make sure your friend has the number in case of an emergency. After your appointment, don't forget to contact him to make sure your significant other didn't call.
When scheduling an appointment with a provider, never use your cell phone or home telephone. If I need to tell you why, then you're already screwed! Come on! Use your brain, McFly!
Your old lady will definitely peruse your personal phone book, your pants pockets, your jacket pockets, anything and everything looking for those odd numbers. Hell, she's probably already doing it, your dumbass just doesn't know it.
Hey you're a guy, you don't think like that. What I'm saying is that you have to! Think like her. Be like her. You've got to know her moves before preventing an attack!
Do not call from your office or from the hotel. Always use a prepaid calling card or cell phone.
If you really like visiting providers, you might want to set up a private personal bank account that your lady doesn't know about. Use it as your monthly entertainment allowance. You could also get a personal credit card and have the bill sent to a private mailbox.
Do not spend a lot of time looking up porno pics on the internet! She will find out. If you are on that computer a lot, even if you are careful and get rid of all the evidence, she will still suspect you! Unless you use the computer for work or some other thing that can be explained, she will think you are looking at nude chicks! There is a program called Specter that records everything you do! If she's got it, you're screwed!
Don't let that happen to you!
Always empty your cache and never use your home or work e-mail. Set up a private e-mail account at www.private-access.com
This is how to empty your cache:
If you use Internet Explorer -a) go to the very top of the interface and you will see File, Edit, View, Favorites and Tools. Select the Tools option. b) Select the Internet Options. c) Go to temporary Internet Files and select Delete Files. d) A window will pop up-select OK. That will delete the evidence.
If you use Internet Explorer -a) go to the very top of the interface and you will see File, Edit, View, Favorites and Tools. Select the Tools option. b) Select the Internet Options. c) Go to temporary Internet Files and select Delete Files. d) A window will pop up-select OK. That will delete the evidence.
If you use Netscape-go to the very top of the interface . a) Select the edit function, then select Preferences. b) Select the + Advanced feature located at the bottom of all options d) Locate the-Advanced option and select Cache. e) You will then be presented with Clear Memory Cache and Clear Disc Cache-select both options which will clear your cache and then press OK.
Do not allow the provider to use baby oil, scented oils or anything that the old lady will smell. Women know what their men smell like!
While scheduling the appointment, ask the provider not to use perfume. If you can smell it, so can your lady!
If the provider has long nails, ask her not to scratch your back during intense moments.
Always discard all lubricants and condoms. Don't hold them in your pockets! Take a few minutes to check your clothing, pockets, and body for anything out of the ordinary
Never engage in unprotected sex. This includes oral sex. If she has a cold sore, throw up the red flag. It's herpes and if you catch it, your old lady will too! She doesn't deserve that.
Always pay with cash when renting a hotel room. Contact hotels that do not require a credit card.
Always, always discard of all of the ads you printed out! Get rid of provider phone numbers as well. In all cases be cautious. Always.
posted by Staff at 10:40 AM
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